On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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