The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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