I'm gonna have a badass scar
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
This house was built for laser tag.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
