Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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