i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
