dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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