If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
