how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
