you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
