when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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