it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
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I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
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So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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