We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Holy sore nipples Batman
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
