So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Your tits are I can't wait for
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
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She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
do nipples grow back?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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