Me too!
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
