Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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