That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize