do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
