yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
