thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
