Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
