that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
