R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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