I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
