Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
