Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm going to jail i love you
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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