rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
