I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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