That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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