i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
