shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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