Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
