Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm having to shit out rocks
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
