Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize