Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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