actually, I'm a sock model
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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