I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize