k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
