shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize