If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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