When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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