Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked. naked and bneed help.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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