yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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