HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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