also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I did not marry a roomba.
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