im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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