White coat. Heels.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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