She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
