the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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