Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I FOUND THE LEGS
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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