when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I can't put those talents on a resume
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
