i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
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We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
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Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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