That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
