it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
