was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
