I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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